There are certain things in life that I will NEVER get over. For instance, not turning around and looking when a car horn “toots” in the road. If they know you, they’ll shout either YOUR name, or address you as “Child/Mother of [insert the name of whichever parent or child you belong to here]. Avoid letting your neighbours see your white underwear/cloth nappies on the line unless they are WHITE! Off white is a sign of soft hands. Don’t have soft hands. This is a sign of being a lazy woman and a no-no and word will get out and you’ll never get married! Being judgmental about ashy legs/ankles/feet. This is commonly known as umdhlopha where I hail from, and is frowned upon. A sign of not being really clean, of course. Being equally judged in the playground about “shiny” Vaseline skin. An obvious attempt to cover ashy skin and a shame for those who had mothers who wanted to avoid the previous judgement and as such, were sent to school with a shiny face and dry ears. Using water like there’s a drought. In England. During the worst flooding for TIME! Shouting at your children to check their shoes for scorpions before they put their feet in them. In Winter. In England. And seeing snakes in the grass out of the corner of your eye and quick-stepping away from the danger. Then having to call out to your husband because you forgot to take him with you. It’s at time like this that I regret teaching my husband certain Zulu words. And ‘speaking eyes’. It will take a while to get over his eye roll as he held up the stick and shouted bakithi at me!
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April 2016
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